Monday, January 17, 2011


I wasn’t ready for all of this you know. It was supposed to be about me, a summer of reform and revolution, but there you were. Instead of independence and self realization it was butterflies, phone calls and letters. It was so unfamiliar; not so much the mutual attraction but the mutual respect. I was shocked that someone wanted more from me than just instant gratification.

I wasn’t ready for commitment but there it was. I certainly wasn’t ready to be your wife. I don’t know how to function in this partnership of servitude. My arrogant selfish nature is debilitating and destructive. I’m supposed to help and support you not manipulate my agenda. I’m hopeless at best, but praise the One who sees infinitely more that my finite mind can perceive. He may not have sent prince charming but he did send perfect provision in the form of everything I’m not.

We far from have it all together but as long as we’re doing it together I don’t really care. We will take this organized chaos and slap the label love on it because that’s what it is and so much more. I'm sure we won't be ready the day we hold a baby in our arms and I can’t help but be excited to see the beauty that our helplessness will reveal. 

I love stumbling through life with you even though I'm terribly unprepared.

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